It’s in my nature to focus heavily on the writing of every anime I watch, as a translator, but Hisone and Masotan is made so much better due to the truly emotional art and animation, not to mention the flow of music and use of the OP theme. But really, the facial expressions are unbelievable and conveying so much in this show, far above the usual in anime.
Hisone to Masotan – 10
Posted on - 9 Replies
Thanks for the episode, I’ve been waiting impatiently! God I’m starting to feel anxious, I don’t want this thing to end. Season two fucking when? 👌😂
Thanks for the translation. I agree, this anime is unique and I love how it also got kinda psychological.
It makes me sad that there is only 2 episodes left 🙁
What a MILF. Thanks for the episode!
Thanks my dude!
You guys are heroes for keeping up with this! Possibly my favorite show this season. Thanks for all the hard work.
I hope you guys don’t mind if I offer my two cents again. As always you do a great job translating the show, but here’s one bit where I’d like to offer a slightly different interpretation. It’s Okonogi’s monologue at 14:37:
“I’ve grown complacent in taking many things for granted. But when others look at those very same things, they brood on each one and stumble. Looking at Amakasu-san agonising over finding her own answer, I think that there might not be even a single thing in this world that can be taken for granted.”
In your translation you take the phrase “他のみんなが当たり前だって受け入れていることに、一々悩んで、転がって” as one separate entity, and then start a new thought in “自分だけの答えを見つけていく甘粕さんを見てたら”. But I feel that if you take “他のみんなが当たり前だって受け入れていること” as a noun phrase (“things that everyone else takes for granted”) which connects to the next sentence (“over every one of these things, [Amakasu-san] broods, stumbles, and finds her own answer”), the monologue might make more sense. This would give you:
“I’ve grown complacent in taking many things for granted. But looking at Amakasu-san brooding and stumbling over what everyone else takes for granted, and seeing her finding her own answers to these things, I think that there might not be even a single thing in this world that can be taken for granted.”
What do you think?
Yes, I agree with that interpretation. The literal translation in order is something like ‘When I look at over-things-that-everybody-else-takes-for-granted-hesitating-and-tripping-and-finding-her-own-answer Amakasu-san, …’; in still pretty poor but at least workable English, ‘Looking at Amakasu, who hesitates and trips and searches for her own answer to things that everyone else takes for granted, I …’. Rightfully, what Okonogi is looking at is Amakasu alone, and not ‘some subset of people, of which Amakasu is an example’.
So you’re correct (in my view, anyway). Ultimately, however, what we’ve got still indicates that Hisone’s the most relevant person bringing this to Okonogi’s attention, and there’s not really a strong meaning change as such (though this kind of operation can be pretty risky in general), though I will say that I tend to prefer more conservative renderings of things like this. That is to say: this isn’t a huge issue, though you’re still right, and literally, grammatically, unassailable. However, I would object a little to ‘make more sense’, since the monologue makes enough sense to me as it is. Let’s have a fun discussion about it, though, keeping in mind that basically these are all really minor nuances.
Something we often do (though I’m not prepared to die for) is rework long sentences in the Japanese into multiple shorter sentences in the English. The main benefit is that it becomes easier to read and understand when you can only see snippets of it at a time (in this case, there’s a full five or six scene changes over the course of this sentence, and it’s broken into four different sub lines). Often you have to try to match pauses with commas and line breaks as well. I’m certainly not claiming that your rendition is impossible to work into the same structure, but it does take some thought (that I… sort of didn’t put into this line when looking over it originally).
Further, Japanese allows for long, long modifiers and they’re pretty often used. English also does, with the ‘X, who Y’ (cf. Japanese ‘the Y X’) structure, but it’s usually clunky and strikes me as poor English in most cases. Even in your translation, note that to make it even close to natural you had to change it to Amakasu actually doing those things, and not Amakasu who does those things: ‘Amakasu-san brooding and stumbling’ instead of ‘Amakasu, who broods and stumbles’. I don’t know if this is considered bad prose in Japanese, but I certainly consider the latter bad prose in English, and if we’re so picky about the meaning as to really raise a fuss about the distinction between ‘Amakasu’ and ‘other people, in particular Amakasu’ (and this isn’t a case like, ‘other people, in particular Amakasu, and literally just Amakasu though, pilots Masotan’, where this really would be an important meaning change), we’re close to being picky enough to raise a fuss about the one between ‘Amakasu doing thing’ and ‘Amakasu, who does thing’.
Especially, the pacing here sort of leans toward the version we’ve got, insofar as a slow build up from: I take things for granted; other people don’t; Amakasu doesn’t; things cannot be taken for granted. A literal rendition ends up as: I take things for granted; Amakasu doesn’t even though other people do; things cannot be taken for granted. Which doesn’t flow -quite- as well (‘Why are you suddenly talking about other people in the second one?’), though whether that flow is worth the minor semantic shift is up for debate. I guess that’s what we’re doing right now.
Is that enough to claim one’s better than the other? No, certainly not, and honestly, if I were to edit it again but forced to spend like ten minutes thinking about it (instead of, uh, breezing past whatever I could), I’d probably come out with something closer to yours. All this text just to elaborate on why it didn’t strike me as weird enough to really scrutinize it. This kind of sentence reworking because of Japanese’s awful infinite modifiers happens all the time, and I’m way too lazy to look carefully at it every time it does.
I hope that explains why I didn’t ‘fix’ this ‘error’, though once again, if I’d thought about it, I might have. Thanks for watching, and for your comments, as always.